Aayushi Agarwalla-Panda

Over time, I began to notice a pattern - how difficult it felt to ask for help, how uncomfortable it was to receive it, and how quickly I would feel indebted when someone did show up for me. Especially with emotional support or even small, everyday favours, there was always a quiet thought in the background: If you can do it yourself, you should. Why involve someone else? Why add to their load?

here’s a certain kind of relief that comes when tension settles. When a difficult moment passes, when someone’s mood lifts, when things feel “okay” again. For some of us, that relief feels deeper than just comfort—it feels like something we earned. Like we did something right. Over time, that feeling can quietly turn into a role. Not one we consciously choose, but one we grow into; becoming the person who adjusts, who smooths things over, who makes sure everything stays manageable.

I stopped holding opinions as confidently as I once did. Not intentionally, just gradually. When every thought passes through the filter of “Is this good enough?” or “Will this make me look foolish?” you begin to censor yourself before the world ever does. Negative self-talk doesn’t just chip away at confidence; it narrows you. It shrinks your spontaneity. It makes you second-guess your own inner world.