What is therapy and counselling (and how is it different from talking to a friend)?

 Why Therapy Isn’t Just “Talking to a Friend” — and Why Both Matter!

Have you ever heard someone say, “Why go to therapy when you can just talk to a friend?” It’s something a lot of people think about. After all, both involve talking, sharing feelings, and feeling supported. But here’s the thing — therapy and friendly chats aren’t the same! Both are helpful, but they work in different ways. Let’s break it down and see why therapy has its own special kind of magic.

So, What Exactly Is Therapy?

Therapy (or counselling) is a space where you can talk about your thoughts and feelings with a trained professional. This person — a therapist — studies for years to understand how people think, feel, and behave. They help you figure out what’s going on inside your mind, and guide you toward feeling and coping better.

Imagine your thoughts and emotions are like a big ball of tangled string. You can’t figure out where one end begins or ends. A therapist helps you slowly untangle that ball, without judging you or rushing you. They help you see patterns and make sense of your emotions — so life feels a little less messy.

Therapists are also trained to identify healthy and unhealthy patterns. Although some things on surface may look healthy, the reasons or roots of those behaviours might not be. For example someone trying to lose weight for health reasons as per recommendation by their physician can be a healthy behaviour however the pressure the person is putting on themselves to lose weight or the relationship they develop with food habits while dieting might not be healthy.

Why People Mix It Up with Talking to Friends

It’s easy to see why people confuse therapy with friendly conversations. When you talk to a friend, they listen, support you, and make you feel seen. Sometimes, they make you laugh or give advice that makes sense in the moment. But therapy goes deeper. It’s not just about feeling better for a little while — it’s about understanding yourself and learning how to manage your thoughts and emotions for the long run.

For example, imagine you’re fighting with your parents a lot. A friend might say, “Ugh, parents are so unfair!” and make you feel understood. That’s great emotional support. But a therapist might help you explore why these fights happen and what you can do to handle them differently. Therapy doesn’t just put a band-aid on the problem — it helps heal it from the inside.

How Therapy Is Different 

• Therapists are trained professionals.They’ve studied psychology, human behavior, and mental health for years. So instead of giving random advice, they use proven methods that actually help.

• Therapists are neutral.Friends might take your side (because they love you!), but therapists stay balanced. They don’t judge or pick sides — they help you see the full picture.

• Therapy is private and safe.Whatever you say in therapy stays there. Therapists follow something called “confidentiality,” which means they can’t share your personal information. That makes it a safe space to be honest about your feelings.

• It’s goal-oriented. In therapy, you and your therapist set goals — like feeling less anxious, improving confidence, or handling anger better. Every session helps you move toward those goals.

• It’s based on science.Therapists use evidence-based techniques — proven methods that really work. This could be learning new coping skills, changing negative thoughts, or improving communication.

• It’s about growth.Therapy helps you not only feel better but also grow better. You learn how to understand yourself, handle challenges, and build a stronger, calmer you.

Expert Opinion:

Aayushi’s Take

“Friends are amazing when you need comfort or a listening ear,” says therapist Aayushi.“But when you need real ways to handle what’s bothering you, therapy gives you tools you can actually use every day. It helps you learn what to do when your feelings start getting too heavy or confusing.”

Tanisha’s View

“Friends care about you and want to make you feel better,” shares therapist Tanisha.“In therapy, the focus is a little different — it’s about understanding yourself more deeply, even if that means exploring things that are sometimes hard to hear. That’s what helps you notice your patterns and find new ways to handle them.”

Friends and Therapy — A Team, Not a Competition

Friends are amazing. They’re the people who send you funny memes when you’re sad, cheer you up after a bad day, and remind you that you’re not alone. But therapy gives you something extra — understanding and long-term change.

You don’t have to choose between them. In fact, having both is the best combo ever! Think of it like this: friends are your cheerleaders, but therapists are your coaches. One helps you feel supported, and the other helps you grow stronger.

When to Think About Therapy

You might consider going to therapy if:

• You’ve been feeling sad, anxious, or angry for a long time

• You feel stuck and can’t figure out why

• You notice your feelings affecting your sleep, studies, friendships or other relationships

• You want to understand yourself and your emotions better

And remember — you don’t have to wait until things get “really bad.” Therapy can help you even when life just feels confusing or heavy. (We’ll talk more about when to seek therapy in another article!)

In the End…

Therapy isn’t just talking — it’s learning, healing, and growing. Friends help you through the bad days; therapists help you understand why those days feel hard and how to make them better. One gives you comfort, and the other gives you tools.

~Aayushi Agarwalla-Panda

 For a therapist or counsellors who can offer you both support & growth, reach out to CINQ.IN @ +91 8007566553 or visit our centre in Baner, Pune.